Last time I posted, we were getting ready to leave the South and head up North for the summer months. The following entry takes place during our time up North.
I was at the drag races recently and they had called for possible storms in the area. It was a large event and of course everyone was hoping the storms would miss us; or at least wanted to get as much racing in before it started. You could see people looking up every few minutes to check out the condition of the skies. At one point the start line of the track was under sunny skies; however the sky at the end of the quarter mile was black and scary.
I started to feel a sense of dread rising up in me and then the lyrics came to me:
“If your eye is on the storm, you’ll wonder if I love you still, but if your eye is on the cross, you’ll know I always have and I always will.”
I smiled and thought WHY am I looking at the sky with anxiety and worry? Looking and worrying will not have any effect on the weather and will only make me miss the racing that was taking place.
I then focused on the show and enjoyed my remaining time at the event until the rain did come. It came during a clear time in the skies and totally unexpectedly. I felt 1 drop then another about a minute later. Then the skies opened up and the rain gushed down as the crowd ran for shelter. A few days later, I started having fear again about our money situation. While we were fine at the moment, I started playing the “what if” game and trying to find an answer for problems that had not even yet occurred. Again the line came to me and I thought about the stormy skies.
I realized then what that line really means. I always thought it meant to give your worries to God and I thought that whenever I started worrying I should do so with the caveat that yes I had this worry but God will find the answer.
Instead another thought came to mind. It’s not that I should include God in my worry; I should be too busy praising God that I don’t have the time or energy to worry.
Replace : Worry + God
with: God instead of worry.
As I stated in previous posts, I struggle with ADD tendencies so if I do not stay really busy, I become restless and anxious and try to find a way to busy myself.
"Be still and know I am God" is not something I find very easy to do. My busying activities include fidgeting, talking, multi-tasking, eating or I will find something really destructive.
I will often tell people, keep me busy or I will find a way to get myself into trouble. Apparently when I am not busy, worrying, fretting, trying to gain control over things I have no business trying to control is another activity I will seek out.
I decided then that I will strive to try instead to listen to a podcast or read something that is inspiring or even sing a song that glorifies God. I will try to be mindful of what I am doing with my body and mind. I will choose how to react to the stillness instead of just getting through it by any means necessary. I will set my eyes on the only One that can bring me peace.
